So, I just called reproductive clinic in our area and asked about the associated fees. First off, they require a bunch of blood work and a first office visit... understandable. After that, the cost seems a little crazy. They said that you need to have an X-ray of your uterus. Now, for anyone that knows me, you know that I am TOTALLY organic and avoid anything that may be potentially harmful to me (or my children) in the future. I avoid things like X-rays like the plague... now why would I want to expose my baby making region to harmful electromagnetic rays??? Call me crazy, but that seems a little counter productive.
Next, they told me that if we planned on using donor sperm that we would need to go see a social worker for an evaluation before you can proceed. Is this normal procedure for all clinics? Kristen and I have spent a lot of time weighing out options, talking to my primary care doctor, friends and family. Now I have to qualify my decision with a professional??? So, I got off the phone and cried a little bit. I just feel like there are a million obstacles put up in front of us. We will be good, loving parents so why do I need to prove myself time and time again when there are so many people that have children that they never even wanted??? I feel a little defeated today. I guess I should just relax a little bit and wait to see if I am even pregnant before I freak out completely. :)
On a much happier note... Kristen, Banjo (our dog), and I went away over Columbus Day weekend. It was so awesome because the foliage was beautiful; we got to relax, and had some hiking adventures. Every time I have the opportunity to spend time with Kristen, I fall in love with her all over. It sounds corny, but we rarely see each other, so I feel like it is important that I feel so in love when we do get to hang out. Banjo had the best time ever. He loves to be in the woods, so being at a camp near a river (that he wouldn't stop playing in) and going hiking was the best! I am really happy that we had the chance to do that.
I have had a couple really weird dreams this week... I hope that means that we are pregnant. I am trying really hard not to get my hopes up this time. It feels like a major loss each time it doesn't work so I have to remain as level headed as possible.
Ashley and Kristen,
ReplyDeleteThis blog sounds all too familiar to mine and J's situation. I am so sorry you are having a hard time finding the right RE. Our doctor is extremely supportive in the fact that we are a same sex couple and I wish that your doctor would be the same. Maybe you can try and find a doctor who is more "gay" friendly. Sounds silly... but if you go on the CCB friends page on Facebook or even post a new thread on the CCB Forums... and ask for some recommendations for RE's you might be able to find one that better fits your needs.
J and I talk about you guys often and we have to admit that we give you a lot of credit to try the IUI's at home. Because we started off going to a doctor- we now know too much that I don't think we could ever do this process at home. But I will tell you the same thing I have told her time and time again, don't give up. Making a baby (same sex, heterosexuals) it takes time. So be patient... and I am sending you two lots and lots of baby dust during this TWW. :)
Thanks for your well wishes! The whole thing with finding a good doctor is a little difficult. I called three places yesterday and all of them require the same testing and a visit with a social worker (which you have to pay for). Maybe it is standard procedure and I am sure that we would "pass," but it still seems really unfair to me. I have one more option as far as the REs go. I will try to call today. Best of luck to you two on your quest!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI have been researching the HCG trigger shot for timed ovulation. Does anyone know about this?
Ashley and Kristen, Again I hear and connect with everything you say about being "evaluated" to be a parent when any ole hetero can just get pregnant. Have you talked to your OB about helping you out? That is how we started. Many are comfortable prescribing clomid for a month or two before referring you to an RE. About the xray. Its an HSG (hysterosalpingogram). It is just to make sure your tubes are completely open. I mean if you are putting $500+ in your pelvis every month, its best to know it can get to the egg right? And your fertility goes up significantly for 2-3 cycles after that. My RE had me do this at a small imaging center instead of a hospital ($1000+ vs $210)Maybe you can get that option.
ReplyDeleteAbout all of the labs...we found out what all the RE wanted and had them drawn by my OB at their office so my insurance would cover it. Maybe even at the health dept? There are cheaper ways...
So the HCG shot will have to be monitored by an RE. Usually about day 11 or 12 you have an ultrasound to make sure the follicles are maturing. This may involve 2 or 3 u/s before the decision to trigger is made. Once you trigger, about 36 hours later you should inseminate. I would bet it would have to be in the office though. And you have to beat your own ovulation. My parter and I did 2 IUI's at home on the recommendation of my OB. Not as easy as it sounds but do-able. (we are both in the medical profession) The IUI caths are very specific for the procedure and you have to have script from a dr to get them. I got a script with unlimited refills so if you think you want to do it I would be happy to sell you a few. They are kinda expensive so just 3 or 4 would have been nice:) (http://www.zdlinc.com/SondeIntrauterine.html)
***side note, my new doc (an RE) wasn't happy with me for doing the IUI at home. He said it is a medical procedure that needs sterility and should only be done at a clinic. He also said the samples have a cryopreservative in them that should not go in the uterus. Maybe he means well, maybe it cuts into his money...
About your known donor, I have friends who did this. They printed a contract offline. Filled it out and had his and their signatures notarized. 3 years later when he was too interested in the twins, the court said because they paid him ($25/sample) it was a business transaction and his rights were terminated. YOu may not have to get a lawyer so quickly.
Hope this helps...
Lindsey