Showing posts with label ICI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ICI. Show all posts

Thursday, October 13, 2011

How can they do that?

Even though we are in our two week wait, I am looking around at different reproductive clinics to try to find a place to do IUI next month.  It was only our third ICI (and we don't even know if it worked or not), but it is probably time to have a doctor help with this process. 

So, I just called reproductive clinic in our area and asked about the associated fees.  First off, they require a bunch of blood work and a first office visit... understandable.  After that, the cost seems a little crazy.  They said that you need to have an X-ray of your uterus.  Now, for anyone that knows me, you know that I am TOTALLY organic and avoid anything that may be potentially harmful to me (or my children) in the future.  I avoid things like X-rays like the plague... now why would I want to expose my baby making region to harmful electromagnetic rays???  Call me crazy, but that seems a little counter productive. 

Next, they told me that if we planned on using donor sperm that we would need to go see a social worker for an evaluation before you can proceed.  Is this normal procedure for all clinics?  Kristen and I have spent a lot of time weighing out options, talking to my primary care doctor, friends and family.  Now I have to qualify my decision with a professional???  So, I got off the phone and cried a little bit.  I just feel like there are a million obstacles put up in front of us.  We will be good, loving parents so why do I need to prove myself time and time again when there are so many people that have children that they never even wanted???  I feel a little defeated today.  I guess I should just relax a little bit and wait to see if I am even pregnant before I freak out completely. :)

On a much happier note... Kristen, Banjo (our dog), and I went away over Columbus Day weekend.  It was so awesome because the foliage was beautiful; we got to relax, and had some hiking adventures.  Every time I have the opportunity to spend time with Kristen, I fall in love with her all over.  It sounds corny, but we rarely see each other, so I feel like it is important that I feel so in love when we do get to hang out.  Banjo had the best time ever.  He loves to be in the woods, so being at a camp near a river (that he wouldn't stop playing in) and going hiking was the best!  I am really happy that we had the chance to do that. 

I have had a couple really weird dreams this week... I hope that means that we are pregnant.  I am trying really hard not to get my hopes up this time.  It feels like a major loss each time it doesn't work so I have to remain as level headed as possible. 

Monday, September 19, 2011

Imagine your experience

I went to Whole Foods yesterday to pick up a supplement that I am taking to help me get pregnant.  I asked a guy for help because they were out of the tincture that I usually get.  He recommended some capsules and then started talking about seeing results soon.  I told him that I wouldn't really know if it worked unless I got pregnant.  His response???  "The best thing that I have found for getting pregnant is imagining you are pregnant.  In the universe you are already pregnant, you just need to believe your experience and you will be pregnant."  He went on about that for a good few minutes.  I thanked him and we went on our way.  So, there is a part of we that thinks "whoa, crazy hippie" and another part of me that wants to believe that getting pregnant is all a frame of mind.  I mean, I can meditate on getting pregnant if that is going to make the difference.

Alright, just figured I would share that little tidbit with everyone out there in baby land.  I have three babies that are all waking up from naps right now, so I have gotta run. :)

-Ashley

 

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Not this time

My uterus continues to be babyless.  After taking three negative pregnancy tests and still not believing that I wasn’t pregnant, my period started today so I guess that is confirmation.  I was reading someone’s blog and she was saying that she convinces herself that she may be the person that still gets a period while pregnant.  YES!!!  Me too!!!  I mean, both of the times that we have tried to get pregnant, I have convinced myself of that.  Totally unrealistic, I know!

I have started thinking about our next ICI.  I am a little bit nervous because our first and second choice donors are sold out, so now we are moving down the list.  I guess it doesn’t matter that much (as long as I have a healthy baby), but having to rework the plan each time rattles me a bit.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that September is baby making month.  It seems like everyone else that is blogging gets pregnant on try number three (or after that), so I have to remember that I am right on schedule.  I had hoped for getting pregnant on the first try (as I am sure we all do), but reality is always a different beast altogether. 

We are gearing up for the big move this weekend.  Moving day is slated for the same day that Hurricane Irene hits us, so it should be interesting!

Today is a good day… not sure why I am feeling so optimistic, but things just seem to look brighter today.  I am glad I feel that way because the weather is a little wonky (severe thunder storms, torrential rain, etc.).  I am really grateful for the life that I have with Kristen and can’t wait to have a little bambino to add to our beautiful chaos!  
-Ashley

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Four tests later

I went out yesterday and bought the digital tests because I have read that they are more sensitive and will catch pregnancy sooner than the ones that you need to interpret the lines.  Just for a little bit of torture I took a test at like 7pm last night.  I knew that end of the day was the worst time to take it, but I just had to try.  "Not pregnant" came up on the screen.  Expected.  Kristen told me to wait until Tuesday to try another test and I wasn't so sure I could hold out.

The first thought this morning when I woke up was "I should take a pregnancy test."  I was lying there trying to convince myself that Kristen was right and that I should wait until Tuesday.  When I finally got out of bed and went to the bathroom, I had decided I would wait.  Then I realized that I was just starting my period.  Huge disappointment.  You know, the worst part of it is that I still had this thought like "oh, some people still get light periods when they are pregnant."  Like four negative pregnancy tests and my period isn't enough proof that this month isn't our time to conceive. 

I have to have some sort of faith in something and know that our time will come when that little soul is ready to be ours.  Regardless of all rational thinking and faith, it is still a big disappointment.  I guess this is all part of the process and I had some big, unrealistic expectations for our first insemination.  Next time I will try to be a bit more guarded with my excitement during the two week wait.
-Ashley