Frustrated

I am very frustrated and grouchy this week.  I feel like this whole baby thing is unattainable.  My insurance doesn't cover anything unless I have a diagnosed illness (oh, I do get one well women visit a year).  So, I can't have a ton of testing done unless we pay for it out of pocket.  Meanwhile, Kristen has great health insurance, but because I am not married to her (and cannot be legally married to her in the state of ME), I cannot go on her insurance.  Maybe we are jumping the gun and trying to get pregnant too soon (financially), but I feel like waiting until my eggs are older just sets us up for more issues.  Where do we go from here?

Now that we have started this process, the idea of taking time off is extremely difficult.  I feel like it is admitting defeat or something.  I definitely have found some flaws in my personality through this whole process.  I am impatient and a super perfectionist.  I guess I knew these things before, but they are sure coming out now.  I would hate to think about what it would be like on Clomid!  I am not sure Kristen would stick around for that. ;) 

Anyway, I suppose I should get back to work.  I am having a hard time focusing today.  I hope everyone is having a good day and I am sending some baby dust your way.

Ashley