Tuesday, May 15, 2012

On the horizon


So, we're taking a break and all things are great.  I can't complain.  I think, even, that some things are improving.  Ashley is happy, less stressed, not feeling broken at the moment.  And as a couple we're working on our stuff together.  This whole baby making business has really brought out our differences in a way that we weren't expecting--at least, I wasn't--and now that we're taking a step back, we're also taking a moment to make sure we're okay as a couple.  

This isn't to suggest that we're falling apart.  We're not.  But we may not have been taking as much care of each other as we should have been.  Not through our attempts to get pregnant and maybe, even, not before.

Even though we love each other and have had the best of intentions to be there for one another, there really hasn't been much opportunity for it.  I go to school in the mornings and go to work in the evenings (including Saturday) and Ashley works M-F, 9-5 with a night class here and there.  We rarely cross paths.

So, take that schedule and pretend Ashley's you: you're trying to get pregnant, it isn't working, you want to plan, discuss, cry with your partner and 6 of 7 days you feel like you don't have a partner at all.  This has been our life for the past year.

I've been really pressuring myself to continue to work full-time while going for my MSW, but after a long discussion with Ashley last week, I've come to the realization that it's better for my current situation if I make a few changes.  Namely, Ashley and I need to see each other more in order to have a sustainable relationship  (on all accounts).  So--uh, okay, I have to wrap up--straight to the point then...  I've changed from part-time student to full-time, leaving me more room for Ashley in the evenings, and told my boss I have to drop down to part-time at work starting in the fall.  Big changes for me, but I think we'll all benefit.  Even Banjo.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Two weeks left

The next two weeks are insane.  I gave my two weeks notice at the doctor's office last Thursday to which he replied 'it's really bad timing' and asked me to try to work longer.  I agreed to working out three weeks notice.  Well, we are a week into the three week notice and no progress has been made in finding a replacement for me.  My job is not a 'jump right in' type of position; there is a lot that goes into it.  So, I am waiting to have someone to train.  Hopefully they come up with something soon.  I really think that they are thinking that I will say 'oh, I can work another month' but it's just not going to happen.  I always try to "fix" everything for everyone, but not this time.  They need to find someone and I will be happy to train them.  It is super frustrating!  In addition, both of the other people that work in our office were out this week so I have been buried.  I haven't had a chance to eat lunch until almost 3pm both days that I have been in the office and I feel like I am constantly running and getting nothing done.  I will be EXTREMELY happy to finish this job in two weeks.

I have been trying to get my licenses and everything for the day care to be put in my name.  I have an inspection on Monday morning, so hopefully that goes well.  I also have been trying to hire a new day care employee for when my mother leaves.  That is a daunting task in itself.  It is so hard to find someone that I would trust to care for the day care children.  I think I have found "the one" but I am waiting to hear back from some of her references. 

One more full week of school left.  I am currently trying to memorize all of the muscles in the muscular system.  With everything that is currently going on, I have less than good motivation.  I am sure that I will get it done, but it seems completely overwhelming right now. 

As far as baby making goes, that is on hold.  I think we will probably wait and try in August.  I just cannot even think about adding that to my plate at this point.  Plus, we have a vacation planned in July and I want to be able to enjoy it without wondering if I am pregnant or not.  I also want to try to decompress a little bit.  Oh, and I am working on losing some of this weight that I put on in the past year.  I have lost about ten pounds so far and hopefully can lose at least ten more before we try to get pregnant again. 

All in all things are going well... just very busy.  I am really looking forward to having just one job and school being done.  Maybe I will have a little bit of time to myself!?!?!  For now, just trying to get everything done and make sure that everyone around me is happy.  I hope everything is going well in blogland!  So excited to see all the babies that have been born recently or will be born soon.  Congrats to all the new Mommies!