Try number 3...

October 2nd was our 3rd anniversary and I hoped that this month would be a lucky one for us.  While we do not yet know if we're pregnant, I'm already feeling defeated.  This at-home baby-making is complicated.  There's so much that you have to chart and process.  I definitely have the easier end of the job because Ashley charts her ovulation and checks her mucus and all that.  I basically just assist in the fun part.

This time around, though, Ashley had me take a more active role in trying to pinpoint ovulation (which is no easy task, especially for a novice).  I checked a few times but I never really know what I'm looking for--I haven't studied those things, she has.  So this time around I felt a lot less adequate at the whole thing.

Ashley asked about doing IUI at home which involves a catheter right to the uterus which sounds terribly freighting.  She says I should try and study up on it and maybe attempt it, but I think it's a little too clinical for me.

All of this is a result of the fact that we're not 100% sure we hit her ovulation in time.  Again.  Yeah--well, it's not the easiest thing to time.  So of course we're both prematurely depressed at the thought that our TWW is going to result in another negative reading.  Ashley's been researching REs and I've been considering this Travis fella for a number of reasons, namely that it's FREE and that sperm lives much longer when it's not frozen.  These are the two big aspects in favor of asking Travis to assist us.  There are also many downsides.  The one on my mind right now is that we'd have to get a lawyer involved much earlier than if we used an anonymous donor.

There are a lot of things going on in our minds and all before we even know if we have to worry.  But there have been a number of people around us lately saying things like, "getting pregnant takes a long time."  Feel like it's some sort of sign.  Conversely, my co-worker just had a baby (with the same name I'd like to give my son--leading Ashley to consider VETOing it! Boo!), some friends from college just announced their pregnancy (IVF after 2.5 years of trying IUI), and another friend just gave birth.  Could that not be some kind of sign too?

Anyway, I'm not going to mope around until I know for sure.  Ashley mentioned our trip into nature last weekend and, as soon as I'm at my own computer, I'll post a picture or two.

Until next time,
Kristen