I went out yesterday and bought the digital tests because I have read that they are more sensitive and will catch pregnancy sooner than the ones that you need to interpret the lines. Just for a little bit of torture I took a test at like 7pm last night. I knew that end of the day was the worst time to take it, but I just had to try. "Not pregnant" came up on the screen. Expected. Kristen told me to wait until Tuesday to try another test and I wasn't so sure I could hold out.
The first thought this morning when I woke up was "I should take a pregnancy test." I was lying there trying to convince myself that Kristen was right and that I should wait until Tuesday. When I finally got out of bed and went to the bathroom, I had decided I would wait. Then I realized that I was just starting my period. Huge disappointment. You know, the worst part of it is that I still had this thought like "oh, some people still get light periods when they are pregnant." Like four negative pregnancy tests and my period isn't enough proof that this month isn't our time to conceive.
I have to have some sort of faith in something and know that our time will come when that little soul is ready to be ours. Regardless of all rational thinking and faith, it is still a big disappointment. I guess this is all part of the process and I had some big, unrealistic expectations for our first insemination. Next time I will try to be a bit more guarded with my excitement during the two week wait.
-Ashley
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