I have avoiding all things baby for the past few weeks. I have pretty much eliminated it from my thought process. I needed time to be me and not let the stresses and disappointments of baby making creep in. I have allowed myself to eat bad food, drink, and even smoke cigarettes. I took time to be the young, wild Ashley. I even had two Bloody Marys at brunch on Sunday... it needed to happen! I feel great and have a relatively low stress level for the first time in almost a year.
I am kind of worried about starting the TTC process again. I just don't want to go back to that anticipation/disappointment cycle. I know that the pay-off will be worth it eventually, but it is pretty difficult in the meantime. Today was really the first day that I thought much about TTC. So, I caught up on reading everyone's blogs and Kristen and I talked a little bit about what is going to happen this month. I just started seeing a counselor and she and I were talking about the TTC process. She then shared with me that she tried to get pregnant for several years before doing IVF and having twins. It was great to hear that because I think that it is very difficult to discuss TTC with someone that hasn't gone through it. I feel very lucky that this lady knows the ups and downs and can hopefully talk me through it. Anyway, I was telling her about how I am not entirely sold on the OB clinic that we are going to. I love my doctor, but I don't usually see her, I get someone else from the practice. Plus, they ordered blood work recently and they never called to follow up with the results. I had a copy sent to my PCP and luckily they called to tell me that my dose of thyroid medication was too high. I just feel like it is kind of irresponsible for a doctor's office not to call with a result, especially if there are changes to treatment plan/medication that need to be made. Who knows, maybe my over-medication has contributed to my not getting pregnant (doubtful, but possible). So, my point is that my counselor said that maybe I should go to Boston IVF for the IUI next time. Although we don't want to spend the extra money ($137 more), maybe I should go to a place that makes me feel more comfortable. Who knows? I wish that Kristen could just do the IUI at home. For those of you that have done IUIs at home, where do you get the catheters? Did a doctor instruct you on keeping a sterile field, etc? I am just curious.
So, our new apartment is nothing short of amazing! It is one of the old, New England style places with the GIANT windows. There is so much sunlight! I also love that it is a large two bedroom place so we have plenty of room to be comfortable. Living in the city is also making me so incredibly happy. Ok, so point is, I love our new home!
I guess that is all for today. I hope everyone is doing well out there in blogland! By the way, this week has been the most incredible March weather ever! Gotta love the sunshine and 80 degree days! I am sure that we will get another snow storm soon to snap us back into the reality of living in Maine!!! :)
glad you had a good break! And found a therapist who can understand all of the ups and downs. I'd say to go where you feel comfortable--not calling to tell you your meds needed to be adjusted isn't a great sign.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you two had a great break from TTC hell. :) I have missed your updates though and am glad to see a post from you guys! Good luck this next cycle. I think going to a clinic specializing in IUI's may be a good decision. I hope the break was rejuvenating and that this next cycle is your big break.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering what happened to you...glad you're okay! :) I agree, definitely a bad sign not to call you with the results, $137 more to to go to Boston IVF seems well spent, if you feel more comfortable there.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your new place!
Nadine
http://www.zdlinc.com/SondeIntrauterine.html
ReplyDeleteThese are the caths we used. YOu have to have a prescription though. I bought a pack of 10 and used 2. I know we aren't best friends but they are sealed and I would be willing to sell you a few of them if you are interested. Warning...it isn't as easy as it sounds. If you want to talk about it more email me at lindsey0351@aol.com.
Ultimately you need to be comfortable so maybe Boston IVF and your new place are just what you need:)
LIndsey
We just went to walgreens and got the little syringes that you can get free from the pharmacist for giving baby meds. That is what we used and it worked two seperate times. I wish the best of luck to you.
ReplyDeleteI had a midwife show us at home and she brought us supplies including a speculum. We didn't have any trouble and I have a low uterus. I think if you and your partner like to play doctor and have fun it is not bad. If you are terrible nervous maybe it isn't for you. It is helpful that you have done it at the Dr. so you have an idea of what to expect. We just started at home. As far as a clean area... we just pull the sheets back and locked everyone else (2 dogs and 2 cats) out of the room. Everything comes wrapped so just don't set it down unless you clean that surface first. My only other thought before I write a book is does your insurance cover fertility at all? In my case (I'm 34 now) if I have 6 Dr. assisted attempts at 35 IVF is covered. We did 6 tries on our own that don't count!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck and I am more than happy to answer questions if you have any about the at home IUI.
Hi! Just popping in to say that I just nominated your blog for the Liebster Award--http://mysmallobsessions.wordpress.com/2012/03/27/today-we-cross-the-line/ I hope you're feeling better about things this week!
ReplyDeleteThanks Isa for their nomination...that's how I ventured over!!
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