Oh blogging, how I miss thee...

I have been a really bad blogger lately. Life has been a little crazy, but mostly in a really good way!

My mother went out to Ohio to watch my brother's kids while he and his wife went on vacation a few weeks ago. When she got back she started talking about how she wanted to move out to Ohio to help them for a year or more (my sister-in-law is in school and my brother works 60+ hours per week). Although I love my mother and will miss her terribly, I think it is a great idea. She and my father have been fighting a lot and I have been put in the middle a lot, so I think space will be a very good thing. In addition, she feels most happy and fulfilled when she is with her grand kids, so why not move closer??? The only thing that was holding her back was her day care. That's where I come in... I will be taking over the day care as of May 15th. This is great news because I love working there, I will make almost double the money I am currently making, and I can quit my job at the office. I am very excited about this change and really look forward to the challenge of owning my own business. Oh, and it will also be great once I get pregnant because I will be able to have our baby with me all the time making breast feeding (and bonding) that much easier.

On the baby front... As Kristen said, I had my follicle check on Thursday and I had a 15mm follicle. Based on the follicle size and my typical cycle, we figured that my ovulation would occur on Sunday. Because the OBs office doesn't do IUIs on weekends, we had our sperm transferred over to Boston IVF and the nurse at our OBs worked out all the details for us to go in for our IUI over the weekend. So, on Saturday morning I had my LH surge and I called Boston IVF to set up my IUI. Long story short, they didn't know anything about it and ended up telling me that I was out of luck this month. I flipped out a little and then, once I had regained my composure, called the on-call doc from the OBs office. After I talked to a few doctors on the phone and explained the issues over and over again, I finally got a call from the lady at Boston IVF who told me that I was all set for a 9am IUI. I was really pissed! I kind of feel bad for that girl because I wasn't super kind to her in the moment. I apologized, but I still feel bad.

Anyway, on Sunday morning Kristen and I went into Boston IVF and had our IUI. It was great! The nurse was so nice and spent close to an hour with us. She even offered Kristen the opportunity to dispense the sperm (Kristen was too nervous, but it was a wonderful gesture). I was very impressed with the experience there.

I have to go back to my doctor's appointment on Thursday for a minute though. While we were waiting for our appointment (for almost 40 minutes) I started to think about how much I really didn't like that place. Maybe it is just the association of trying to get pregnant and failing or the issues that we have had with them or both. Anyway, when we were in the appointment with the doctor she said a few things that made me angry. Kristen mentioned the first one (why don't you guys switch?). I mean, I know that this is an option for some couples, but I also feel like if it is an option then we would probably tell the doctor. If I couldn't get pregnant and Kristen could, I would feel like a failure and really resent her for being able to have that experience. I don't ever want to feel that way about her (or myself). I wish that I was open to the idea of her carrying our baby, but I have had this deep biological need to carry a child since I was very young, so I just think that it is best to honor those feelings.

The other thing that always bugs me when I hear it from our OB is "you know, most heterosexual couples have unprotected sex for a year before they are labeled as infertile." I understand that and I am not looking for an infertile label (really)! We are doing IUIs which is an infertile heterosexual couple's first step in fertility treatments. So although I appreciate her trying to tell me that I am not infertile, it always seems patronizing to me that she says that.

Lastly, she said something about "I read the notes from the Boston IVF consult, but I want to hear what he told you." So, Kristen told her that basically he said it was just a matter of trying more and that the Clomid/Letrozole may have been hindering my ability to get pregnant. My OB then AGREED that indeed the fertility drugs that she prescribed to me can hinder getting pregnant if you don't need them. My question is, why did she never inform us of that? Why did she advise us to take the meds if it wasn't indicated?

So that is it for my rant about the OB. We probably won't go back there. I don't particularly like dealing with them and I feel like they are pretty insensitive to this whole process. Anyway, I loved my experience at Boston IVF, so we will probably stick with them.

The IUI itself went really well. The catheter slipped right in and other than some spotting and cramping, it was great. The nurse gave us the sheet with all of our sperm counts and stuff which was neat to see (the OBs office doesn't do that). Our swimmers were swimming straight and fast (rated 3 out of 3) and our count were good (can't remember the exact numbers). Hopefully this is the month!

Easter was really nice. It was my mother's birthday too, so we had a birthday cake for her and Kristen and I bought her an hour long massage (she loved it). We went over to my cousin's house and had dinner with some of my family. It was wonderful! Typically when we get together with family there is some kind of bickering, but Easter was the exception this year. We played with the kids, laughed, ate too much, and just generally enjoyed each others' company. I feel truly blessed!

Now that I have written a novel, I should probably get back to work. Things are going well overall and I really look forward to the life changes coming my way. I hope everyone is doing well in blogland!
-Ashley