Trying to move past it

Sorry to everyone that read my post yesterday.  Total pity party.  After I wrote that Kristen and I ended up getting in a huge fight and I left for a while and drove around.  While I was gone I smoked almost a half pack of cigarettes and somehow, some of the hatred left me.  Today, I am feeling a little better.  I guess I just needed a day of absolute despair. 

The only thing that is really still bothering me is that I am not sure how I can be nice to my employee at this point.  I had suggested to her that the scheduled date of her surgery was not a great idea and that maybe she should wait until Thanksgiving or Christmas break.  I know that no one wants to have surgery on your school break (especially a 20 year old) but sometimes that is what happens in the land of adults.  Anyway, she decided to go ahead with her surgery and we all see how that turned out.  I am pissed at her for costing me $3,000 for the classes that I already attended.  I am pissed at her for ruining a WHOLE semester of school for me.  I am pissed that she pushed my graduation date back by a semester.  AND I am super pissed that she was able to make it to her classes yesterday while I was working on trying to fill out paperwork to drop all of mine.  F*** her. 

My mother told me that I should be completely honest with her about my feelings, but I also feel like some of this was out of her control.  I mean, she didn't know that it would take her more than a week to recover from a tonsil surgery.  Her surgery was nine days ago and she is still taking oxycodone, zofran (for the nausea), and only eating liquids.  (Just for a reference point, when I had my tonsils out I went to a Deftones concert three days later.)  I also feel like I need to cut her a little slack because she has two kids (a 2 1/2 year old with Autism and an 11 month old).  She has no help with them at all so she has not been able to get enough rest while she is trying to recover.  Now, I feel really bad for her, but the same respect, I feel like she should have planned ahead a little better.  She could have scheduled surgery for December and spent the time in between saving some money to pay people to watch her kids (or send them to day care).  I don't know... I guess what's done is done and no matter how pissed I am at her, it's not going to change the outcome.

Anyway, that is my grouchy rant for today.  Improvement from yesterday but still not 100%.  Hope everyone is having a good Thursday!
-Ashley