Summer

What an amazing summer this has been!  We have gone to four concerts; we saw Sugarland, Marcy Playground, Lit, Gin Blossoms, Sugar Ray, Everclear, Ingrid Michaelson, Andy Hall, and Brandi Carlile (we have a very eclectic taste in music ).  We went camping once, hiking in Maine and in the Rocky Mountains.  We spent nine days in Colorado (and I was ready to pack up and move there).  Went for a bike ride with friends on Peak's Island (a neat island off the coast of Maine).  We are going to a comedy show tonight, camping Sunday night, and whitewater rafting on Monday.  I am sure there are things that I am forgetting, and more to come, but I have to say this has been an epic summer!

This morning I found out that I was accepted to University of New England as a Pre-Med major... yikes!  I am so excited for the new challenge and that I got into the school of my choice, but I am SOOOO scared that I will not be able to handle the work on top of running/working at my own business.  Truthfully, if it ends up being too much, I think I will give up the day care before I give up on school.  I really want to be able to finish my Bachelor's and then hopefully go on to a Nurse Practitioner program, PA program, or med school.  Not sure what direction I will end up going in, but for now, I am really excited to have the opportunity to go to UNE and hopefully ROCK THAT SHIT!!!  (excuse the language... just had to say it!)

As for baby making... Kristen and I are still kind of hanging out waiting until the time feels right to jump back into trying.  It is likely that we will try next cycle (beginning of September), but we aren't locking ourselves into anything.  This month I started using one of those Clear Blue Easy Monitors that tracks your cycle.  Great idea in theory, but I apparently didn't ovulate (according to that machine).  I am going to do my normal test strips next month in addition to the monitor to see if that thing is just a piece of crap or not.  I am a bit skeptical that I didn't ovulate considering I tracked my cycle for 14 months and had very regular ovulation and then month 1 with that machine I didn't ovulate... seems fishy!!!  We still need to buy some sperm and the donor that we were using doesn't have any vials and may not be releasing any more.  I am ok with using one of our 'back ups' but I guess we need to make a decision who the lucky bachelor will be!

Anyway, that is what is going on in my life.  I hope everyone is doing well in the wonderful world of baby making!  I will try to start writing more once we jump back on the insemination wagon.  For now, enjoy your summer!

Disenchanted

It's been a while, I know.  Sorry, friends, we're still on a break.  Ashley and I have decided to let life feel good for a little while longer before jumping back into the game.  I've been nervous since our first (7) attempts took so much out of us as a couple and me as an individual.  Taking this time to take care of ourselves and plan our next course of action has really put things into perspective and I was pretty unhappy.  Struggling to keep both mine and Ashley's attitudes as positive as possible was thoroughly exhausting.  

It's been pointed out to us numerous times that it is very likely we've been receiving poor care--that there are fertility specialists/doctors who perform IUIs out there that are better and care more for their patients.  I was under the impression that our doctor was just fine.  From our experiences in her office, she seemed to genuinely care; however, IUI and fertility is not her specialty and I have to admit, now, that there were definitely some areas of improvement.  Namely, not having multiple doctors perform our IUIs. 

Oh, and also cluing us in on the CMV.  To this date not one doctor has talked to us about the relevance of CMV status on each donor.  It was not until hanging around with our friends and they happened to bring it up that we realized.  What the hell?  Someone, ANYONE, should have mentioned this before, during, or after any one of our IUIs.  No one, not one person mentioned it.  

A professor of mine mentioned during the last day of Spring semester that she was trying to get pregnant.  It was a casual, brief thing she threw out as a reason for avoiding coffee.  At that point, Ashley and I were still pretty deeply invested in trying to get pregnant (and I was, for a while, almost always on the verge of crying from all the frustration and disappointment).  So, when she mentioned it, I sort of jumped on the opportunity to ask her how, how long, alone or with someone.  I needed to know what her experience was to make me feel better about where I was.  At that point she'd been trying for about 11 months.  It's been roughly two months since that day.  Today we met to discuss some possibilities brought up in class during summer semester that we may pursue.  Just before wrapping up she asked if we were still trying.  She is now beginning the process of looking for doctors and donors for IUI or IVF.  I asked her if she'd had the CMV testing and she had.

Okay, so maybe the CMV test isn't all that important.  I can only imagine that it plays a small role in this whole process of conception.  But we were never told.  We were never asked.  I've been on the side of the doctors for most of this process, but I'm beginning to think Ashley was right to be so disappointed in the service we were given.  Maybe she wasn't upset due specifically to the stress of trying to have a child.

When we decide to try again--which I'm leaving in the hands of Ashley to decide--I think we'll either be looking for a new doctor or giving at home IUI a try.

Until then,

Kristen